Its Been Awhile

Today I woke up to a burst of vigorating energy. When you find out one of your best friends is going into labor you cant help but to be overwhelmed in excitement and worry all at the same time.
These past few months for me have been quite the change. New school, new roomates, new friends. Its like a whole new world, but in no way aladdin style. This new school is incredibly fast paced. Classes are in quarter sessions, four quarters a year, only a three week summer break. Unfortuanatly it is a bit ridiculous. But on the other hand, the classes are more focused on my major, which in the long run is better in most ways. But the community is definitly diffetent than good old UMHB. Instead of a Christian based enviroment, it is more of the pothead typical austin area enviroment. But i have to say i have enjoyed every minute so far. It is harder finding a good community that supports the Christian way, but at the same time it is only more of an oppurtunity to reach out and really be a living testimony. So to me this is not a test, not quite a trial, but more of a challenge. To live up to what God made me to be, to stand for His word no matter what. To be a disciple.
What makes this hard, is knowing that this summer i will not be working at Highland Lakes Camp. After coming to this school i kind of realized i wouldnt be able to work there unless i could work weekends only. But it didnt really hit me until last weekend when all the recreation staff smts moved in for training. My cousin Brooke, and my friends all moved in. Brooke is one of my best friends. The other people at the camp are pretty much like family to me now. It is so hard knowing that they are there serving God and having so much fun all together and im stuck here at school. I guess its jealousy. But its just sad. I know God is going to do work through me here. Having another best friend, Ashly, here definitly makes things alot easier. Along with my roomates, especially Deidra who is pretty much my sister. And a few other best friends here too. I know me and Ashly are gonna have a hard time with this since we worked last summer and love those girls and the camp so much.
I cant beleive Brooke is going straight to UNT after being at camp all summer long. I love her dearly and im going to miss her so much. But i know were gonna be friends forever and nothing willl get in the way of our friendship. But I know God is greater than all of this and he will help us get through this. He will keep our friendships alive and well.
Speaking of Ashly, she just got married last weekend. She is so cute and im so blessed to have become friends with her. She is so aswesome and such a woman of God. I can see how much God is at the foundation of her relationship with her husband and it just makes me so hopeful and its so awesome to see God working in their lives with each other.
Yesterday I was blessed with an incredible message at Austin Stone. We as christians look forward to the mission God is leading us to. To live for him and fulfill his will. To reach others whereever we go. But when we do this we tend to forget the work God is doing in our lives as we speak. We neglect the brokeness in our hearts that Hes transforming us to be like Him. Is He what we are living for in all areas of our lives? How much so we neglect the present time in our lives. We look to the future so much and try to live out God's will and forget how much he is still doing in our hearts and our lives right as we speak.
Less than 2 hours ago my best friend had a baby girl. Less than 3 days ago I had a 3 month anniversary with my boyfriend. Less than 2 weeks ago i had a best friend get married. Less than 2 months ago i had another best friend get married. Less than 3 years ago i graduated highschool. Time flies by. We move on into the future thinking what next, getting excited for the things to come. But we cant forget the present. The now. Stop and listen. Listen to what God is doing in your heart now. I have drifted and i know i have. But its never too late to go back. When you stray, God's mercy is never ceasing to grab hold of you and sweep you into his arms.
Proverbs 4:23

Never Ceases to Amaze

His glory reigns and His beauty never ceases to amaze.

holy design

this place in time

that i might seek and find my God

my God

Lord i want to yearn for You

i want to burn with passion

over You and only You

Lord i want to yearn

Your joy is mine

yet why am i fine

with all my singing and bringing grain

in light of Him

oh You give life and breath

through Him You give all things

in Him we live and move

that's why i sing

Lord my prayer is to walk in your foot prints,

to be hand in hand,

to have my heart open,

to be side by side,

with all my hope and desire and faith in you.

New Day

To be wanted
To be cherished
To be comforted
To be happy
To be laughing
To be broken
To be filled with joy
To be satisfied
To be faithful
To be amazed
To be honest
To be not just pretty,but beautiful
To be calm
To be protected
To be guarded
To be taken care of
To be strong
To be right
To be safe
To be courageous
To be noticed
To be humbled
To be honored
To be daddy’s little girl
To be respected
To be more than average
To be in peace
To be enthralled
To be loved.
What we forget is how all these needs have been met. Our wonderful Creator. Magnified and glorified above all. Although we seem to shove Him under the bed, he has overwhelmed us with every need to be taken care of and we don’t accept it more than half the time. Were human. Its going to happen. God knew us before we were born. Its simple yet decadent. The beauty of his works are unfolded all around us every moment of every day. From sunrise to sunrise. Theres nothing more beautiful than to sit and watch the work of God move everyday. He knew what He was doing and is doing. His grace. His gentleness. His essence. His presence. His kindness. His forgivness. His glory. His majesty. His divineness. His will. He gives everlasting life.Everlasting love. Everlasting strength. Everlasting truth. Everlasting comfort. Everlasting peace. To just take one step back. Sit. Listen. Watch. To remember that God is by your side. Protecting every moment of your life with his will. Is it enough. How do we take it in. The beauty of this is Gods knows its not a simple task. It’s a long road. Its thirsting for more. It’s the hope. It’s a brand new day. Bow down. Worship. Glorify the Almighty.
Psalm 139
matthew 10:29-31
james 1:17
psalm 37:4
2 thessalonians 2:16-17
2 corinthians 1:3-4
psalm 34:18

HLC Cubed... Best Summer EVER.

In the one day of rain and all the rest of summer heat,
Through all the humidity and beautiful blue skies,

With exhausted muscles and emotions of defeat,
The last thing on our mind was the time of goodbye.

We conquered the training in water and land
Quickly learning we had no more personal space
We grew together hand in hand
We came to know each other face to face.

All day working in the sun
Doing jobs of wondering why why why
Learning new things of fun
Like mowing and weedeating even if you’re not a guy.

There’s lifeguarding and the highs
Lets not forget about the ranges too
Everyone went there with a big sigh
Sitting in the shade with nothing to do

Except when those preteen camps came
And there were kids running around everywhere
We all thought the same
They should be on leashes, its only fair.

But in the end we all knew the real joy of it
To see all the kids each week come and go
To know Christ is working in all the midst
And see them as they go reap and sow.

To work behind the scenes is okay with me,
Sending people off ziplines, telling them not to run
Encouraging them to jump and serving them tea,
It was sad to leave when the summer was done.

Friendship made are everlasting and always
God really showed up in this place
His presence was there in every day
Along with his great mercy and grace.

Memories were made with each other
Forever cherished and never forgotten
Praises to the King as sisters and brothers
The beauty of it all, I miss it already, Amen.

· Busted Ear Drum….trip to emergency room
· Double pink eye…..trip to pharmacy
· Bells Palsy…..trip to docter
· Every movie I owned gone….lame
· Cleaned more toilets than I ever thought I would…not too bad

Working at Highland Lakes Camp…Priceless.

This Summer I was blessed with the opportunity to work at Highland Lakes. The first day I arrived I was so nervous and scared I almost turned around to go home before I even got out of my car. I have to say I’m glad I didn’t. The first half of the summer was rough. I quickly learned that working at Highland Lakes for Rec Staff is a lot more than you expect. An average day starts at about 7am give or take. We have devotion; we go straight into serving breakfast after that. Once we get done serving breakfast we get to eat, most of the time on a time limit. Morning projects come after that. Then back to the dining hall to serve lunch. We quickly eat after that and then go straight to our assigned rec areas. We stay there til about 5pm. Then go straight back to the dining hall to serve dinner. After eating, depending on what day it is your worship team will stay and clean the dining hall. That rotates every other day. And one night a week after dining hall we have concessions. After the camps leave at the end of the week we do turnovers to the dorms. I learned so much this summer. Physically, I learned how to clean a toilet, clean a shower, weed eat, drive a boat, CPR, and countless other things as well. But spiritually, I really learned what it is like to have to depend on God. To actually bow down to His majestic divineness and lay everything down to Him. I had to rely and depend on God more than I ever have. After busting my eardrum I was kind of like whatever, it didn’t bother me all that much at first other than I couldn’t get water in my ear which meant no more swimming for awhile. A little bummed, but I was okay with it cause I knew it would heal in a few weeks. Well a few days later, I ended up with double pink eye. I have never had pink eye before so that was a new one as well. A few days after that I developed this thing called Bells Palsy. This is something that I had never heard of, never even knew existed. That was probably the hardest thing I had to overcome and just give completely to God this summer to trust He would take care of me. Bells Palsy is when the nerve on one side of your face gets bruised or damaged and your face muscles on that side of your face basically go limp. So when I smiled, only one side of my face would move to smile, meaning when you looked at me from the right side I looked like a pirate cause all my muscles would move to that side so when I laughed my smile would go almost to my eye. But if you looked at me from the left side it just looked like a had a blank stare. At first I just messed around with it saying I had a serious side, and covered my face when I laughed. But as time went on, and different tests I quickly learned that it could take up to 6 months for this to officially heal. My lowest point during the summer was probably the week after a busted my eardrum when all this was happening to me. I became real close to God. I prayed constantly for healing. Not only healing but contentment. What helped the most getting through all of this was the people at the camp. Every single one of the staff members are the best people I know. It was them who helped me make it through. Their prayers and their encouragement were truly from the heart. The best part of working at this camp is the relationships you build with the rest of the staff members. Working with someone for 3 months straight (with a couple days off here and there) almost 24/7 days (okay really just like 16hours) you really get to know the people. I couldn’t ask for it any other way. I know when people say you make friends and it will last forever but these guys and girls became more than just friends. We saw each other at our best and at our worst, when we looked nice(only every once in a blue moon) and when we were dripping in sweat. Highland Lakes Camp was definitely the best summer decision I have ever made.

Give me your eyes for just one second

Give me your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing

Give me your love for humanity

Give me your arms for the broken hearted

Ones that are far beyond my reach.

Give me your heart for the ones forgotten

Give me your eyes so I can see

Listening to this song i realized that seeing through Gods eyes there are people everywhere all around me hurting and hurting and even my family and best freinds that i have not been paying attention to. I know its there but its like i dont want to know its there. I have been running from God. When everything was piling up, when everything seemed to be getting at its worst, when everything seemed unanswered and lost, I ran. I was questioning, and i was hurting. Why arent my prayers being answered. Why doesnt my dad understand why i want to go to Africa for a mission trip. Why does my brother have to be so upset at life. Why are my friends hurting. Why are my friends looking for love in the wrong places. I was losing faith, slowly but surely.

Just recently I went to a Phil Wickham and Charlie Hall concert. As Charlie Hall opened and was playing songs he also spoke a few words. One of the things that really got my attention was how he said people of the earth will steal from your heart. They take and take. But our Heavenly Father pours into our heart. He pours His love unconditionally into OUR hearts. He loves us so much. Earlier today it finally hit me. When my friend called me and told me that her boyfriend had shoved her and yelled at her. It hit me. People all around me are hurting. Hurting like never before. And lately I have been so caught up in being broken myself through things I have been going through that i have not been leaning on God to see whats going on around me close enough.

God is there to comfort us, no matter how damaged and broken we are. No matter how far we have ran from him. He is waiting for us to come back to Him. To stop looking on earth for the love that only God can give us. The moment my friend told me what had happened was when i realized that i have been abandoning my God, that i was giving up hope in the all powerful God. My faith had crumbled and my walls are higher than they have ever been. But i know that my God is stronger and is still waiting for me to fall to my knees and come back. And pouring love from my heart to others like my best friends and my family, and all others is what I should be doing. The love that God has shared with me. I know my walls are up, but I know they will slowly come down in time. I know that God will take care of us, and that greater things are coming, into this city, into my life, into this world. And I am ready to embrace the love of my Heavenly Father once again, because no one on earth can fill that void of emptyness besides Him.

2nd Corinthians 1:3-11

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

The past week things have really been put in front of my eyes. Although It seems like each week gets more and more deep and harder to embrace God as time passes and Things get more stressful, full of more hurt, more brokenness, and more of just plain life. I will stop. Breathe. And listen. Listen to the voice of God. Even when it seems as He is as far away as possible, I know He is right there whispering in my ear. He is the God of this city.

You're the Light in this darkness
You're the Hope to the hopeless
You're the Peace to the restless

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City

1 Peter 1:22

To love like you have never been hurt.

Dont let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.